Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
