That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
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