I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
