Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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