She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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