my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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