the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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