He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
