I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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