These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
