if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
