how can u be prego again
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
