Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
