I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
