I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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