the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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