Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
