every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize