THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
