New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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