Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
