what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
