The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
