I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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