i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
