Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
