Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
