Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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