I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
