Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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