Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
