Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
