so that wasnt chicken after all
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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