he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
