Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
