STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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