also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
