So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Alive.
So much puke
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize