i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Randomize
