Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
