Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize