someone owes me an orgasm
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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