Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
