i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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