Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
