O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I will pee on everything he values.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
