I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize