ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize