Ketchup is God's man juice
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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