so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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