it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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