So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
