so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
