I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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