Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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