covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
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