Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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