i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
