guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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