Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Floor bacon is actually really good
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
