Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
