i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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