Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
