When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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